One moment you feel invigorated, healthy and pliable, but suddenly, seam by seam you fall apart. The ground under your feet begins violently shaking and your pain intensifies, both physically and mentally.
Sweetness, it's time to...
Breathe in, then breathe out knowing that everything can and will change before your eyes. The incessant thoughts clouding your beautiful mind with worry and doubt will soon fade away into nothingness. The weight bearing down on your shoulders leaving you feeling small and useless isn't real. It's simply your mind playing tricks on you again my friend. Don't be so hard on yourself for letting it take over. No one, not even you, could have prepared you for a face to face battle with your own fragility.
Seriously, in a month from now you'll have the pleasure of laughing at your present troubles, mocking their insignificance. There's no point in bowing down to the drama, it's not worthy of your energy. Beyond that, your soul cannot withstand another bashing. It's already engaged in healing old bruises and deep rooted wounds. Just let it do its job.
More importantly, you ought to cater to your soul with kindness by recognizing, and subsequently accepting that change is the only thing guaranteed in life. Despite your longing, sometimes no matter how much elbow grease you apply, you can't scrub all the grit away. Sometimes it's scattered too far or it's just way too messy. At times like these, you need to walk away, float on. It's not running away, it's moving forward, taking a leap and altering the direction of your life. Trust me, moving forward is gutsy, so never underestimate your strengths and capabilities.
Don't give in, nor fall victim to the voices of others, as there will always be naysayers no matter the path you take. Soon enough the immense sadness that has been attacking you from all angles will subside. Pain like every emotion, sensation and process in life is ephemeral. I promise you once you've climbed these mental mountains that are scaring the fucking shit out of you right now, a cornucopia of unimaginable ease awaits.
I believe in you. Believe in yourself.