Forgive me in advance as the following sentences aren't infused with the positivity known to this blog. The universe has served me up one rough week. I feel guilty & foolish for complaining as I am aware of how truly blessed and lucky I am and that so many other people out there are ten times worse off then myself but i had a lapse into weakness and i granted myself permission to wallow in self pity for a brief moment or so.
- Being told I am incapable of making babies due to that nasty impostor more commonly referred to as "the contraceptive pill"
- Having our picture perfect house lose it's sheen all too quickly. Becoming aware of the fact that our first home buying experience isn't going to be all candy and roses.
- Getting a massive slap in the face when trying on clothes that fit me three weeks ago and are now unable to zip up due to another form of ridiculous medication that has brought with it a constant case of bloating. Making me appear almost pregnant (double slap in the face)
- Waking up with Laryngitis, dubbing me voiceless and incapable of working which is no good thing when you have no sick leave left.
You put on top of this I'm cramming the remainder of my traineeship into the next three weeks and you can sympathize with me as to why I was left feeling overwhelmed and slightly bruised. It took a few cuddles, supportive words from loved ones and positive affirmation overload and I'm back to myself again. I continually repeated over and over again " All is well in my world. I trust whatever happens, happens for my highest good. Every breath I take creates my world. A world I appreciate and cherish" And it's true, I believe every experience good or bad shapes the person I am and teaches me to grow. I've found the best way to get back on track is to put all my energy into my daily routine & focus on all the amazing-ness that is prevalent in my life.
The Positive Outlook:
- I'm saying a big up yours to my doctors diagnosis. I believe I will have babies & therefore I will have babies. Yes my life plans may undergo alterations and it will take a lot of patience, research and persistence but my body will heal.
- Our perfect house is out there just waiting for us to discover it and make it our home.
- I'm now fully aware of the fact that you can't fix a problem caused by medication with medication. I am now opting for natural therapies & remedies only. I guess I needed to be hit with some cold hard evidence of the effects these medications can have on your body to regain my faith in self healing.This has also pushed Nathan and I to devise a new exercise routine in which we can do together.
- And the inability to speak provides no other option but to listen. I'm listening and engaging in the lives of those around me. And the day off work means I've got a day to do some study.
So I'm now focusing on completing my schoolwork & maintaining my daily routine. As for everything else, it will all fall into place over time. This morning I went for a walk, sat in the sun for my daily quota of vitamin d, meditated and stopped all my wondering thoughts by journalling. Now I'm off to study.
Have a peaceful, positive weekend xxx